Urgent Random Announcement of Questionable Importance
This is Ruckford MacMullit and I want everyone to know that I am 100% pro Nebraska.
There has been a lot of talk lately about getting rid of Nebraska, maybe having it auctioned off or even surgically removed, but I believe that a healthy Nebraska is an important part what makes this nation…however it is.
And furthermore, allow me to state that I am also:
Pro yodeling
Pro slinky
Pro tractor
Pro boscis
And even pro wrestling
But don’t think I am some sort of yes man. There are several things I am adamantly against:
I am anti ABBA. ABBA exposure has been proven to cause irritability in lab animals and is not particularly pleasant for the lab technicians either. In addition I am:
Anti body
Anti matter
Anti disestablishmentarianism
And anti depressant
I am glad that I could be clear on these important issues. If you have any questions about where I stand on subways, astroturf, or hardwood flooring, feel free to contact me in care of this fine publication.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Your Nebraska has to go, otherwise it will poison your whole system. Get it over with now, before we have to remove your Ohio as well.
October 24th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Are random announcements of questionable importance really all that urgent?
October 25th, 2007 at 10:01 am
[…] I am pro-Nebraska […]
October 26th, 2007 at 1:36 am
Wow!
I’m surprised you aren’t also Anti perspirant.
(I am.)
October 28th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Debbie… is it?
I will have you know, young lady, that every announcement and pronouncement that issues forth from this sacred site is of the utmost importance.
That is why I issue them.
Hrrrumph.
Jolly good then.
October 28th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
Youthful young person,
I believe that good honest sweat is what has made America what it is: a bit sticky and overdue for a shower.
You don’t mess with success, missy.
October 31st, 2007 at 11:55 am
Forgive me Mr. Danger (incoming!) for I was a bit arsey that afternoon.
MacMullit and Company are always of the utmost importance.
(tilted head, eyes wide open, smirk on face)
December 1st, 2007 at 2:48 am
Yes, it be eye! Mooie Mooie Macho Man!!!!
Never been to Nebraskie. Herd much uv dem Ruskies mooved der. Since Ive neva been der I guess it kude go. mebe I cude go der and have dem make a statue. Give evy one a reasun fur goin.
It’s like a jungle some times, Makes me wunder what I do to keep frum goin unner.
(Looking in the mirror in awe)
Caustic Soda
January 13th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I am pro bono (not Sonny or that Irish guy–I mean I work for free).
…pro-fane
…pro-lific (all right, anti-lific–lazy, I guess)
…pro-phylactic (I used to be pro-creative)
Anti-matter (not that it matters)
Anti-freeze (must return to the south)
Anti(e)-bellum (well, maybe not that kind of south)
Anti-viral (I’m very clean)
August 6th, 2008 at 6:57 am
Why anti-abba? Is it because they never played in Nebraska?